Memoires Of A Tracy !
by Somebody Once
Summary: Short ficlets - Alan's new College project provokes some interesting insights into the Tracy family.
1. The brief

Alan Tracy, smiled as he breezed into his lounge, clutching a pad of paper and a handful of pens. His brother Virgil who was at the piano and his father Jeff, who was seated, in Alan's opinion where he sat far too often, at his desk, looked up as he slammed the door behind him.  
  
'ALAN!' Jeff said sharpely, shaking his head at his youngest son,'do you have to slam the door, Virgil and I were enjoying the peace and quiet.'  
  
Alan ignored his father and walked over to where Virgil sat.  
  
'Here Virg, take one of these!'  
  
Virgil, sighed and gave up trying to ignore his brother as he stopped playing. 'My family and me?' he asked Alan frowning as he read the title at the top of the blank page, 'what is this?'  
  
Alan smiled back sweetly, 'it's my new project, you know I've been taking those part time courses at the college?' Virgil nodded, 'well this is my project. I want you all to write down your deepest feelings and memories.'  
  
Virgil stared at his brother incredulously, 'oh that should be easy then!' he retorted sarcastically.  
  
Alan rolled his eyes, 'help me out here please Virg, I want to pass this course.'  
  
'What the hell is this course anyway, creative writing?'  
  
Alan frowned, hurt, 'no it's psychology' he replied handing a paper to Jeff, 'I need all of my family, and unfortunately that includes you Virgil, to write something.'  
  
Jeff looked uneasy, 'Alan, I want to help son, really, but I'm not good with things like that.'  
  
'Dad' Alan said, turning on the puppy-dog eyes that Jeff had never been able to resist, 'please, you don't have to write a lot.'  
  
Jeff did as Virgil had expected and gave in, 'ok' he conceded to his son.  
  
'Oh thanks dad, you're the greatest' Alan said with so much enthausiasm that Jeff couldn't help but grin.  
  
'Now where's Scott and Gordon?'  
  
Virgil smirked, thinking of his brothers' reactions to Alan's request, while both Virgil and John were good at English, Scott and Gordon had hated it, preferring sport to any subject remotely academic. It wasn't that they weren't good at it, they just disliked it. It gave Virgil a sense of satisfaction to know his brothers were going to have to endure the same torture he would have to go through.  
  
'Scott's cleaning Thunderbird One and Gordo's drying off after his swim.'  
  
Alan nodded and breezed off to find them.  
  
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'You want me to do what?' Scott groaned as he stared at the paper infront of him. He'd barely cleaned any of thunderbird one before his little brother had cornered him.  
  
Alan shook his head in exasperation, 'Please try and keep up Scott', he muttered, 'I need you to write your feelings and memories.'  
  
To Scott this sounded like a fate worse than death.  
  
'Oh Alan.........'  
  
'No excuses Scott, do you want me to fail?'  
  
Scott sighed, he had always done everything he could to help his brothers at school, he wasn't about to fail Alan now.  
  
'Fine, I'll do it!' he said disgruntled.  
  
'Thanks Scott' Alan grinned and hugged his brother, 'I knew you wouldn't let me down. And remember no mention of International rescue ok?'  
  
Scott nodded and frowned as Alan left the room, humming, 2 brothers down 2 to go.  
  
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'UH....Uh... no way!' Gordon said, wrapping the towel around his neck as he pulled a t-shirt over his still wet hair.  
  
'Pleeeeeease!' Alan whined.  
  
'Al, I never found that endearing...' Gordon responded to his brother's puppy-dog eyes, 'it was just annoying.'  
  
Alan frowned and threw himself down theatrically on his brother's bed, 'Gordo, please, you don't know how important this is to me.'  
  
Gordon continued to shake his head, 'if I'd been good at writing Al, I wouldn't have flunked Mrs Looter 's English Class.'  
  
Alan sighed, 'you didn't flunk because of that, you got suspended for writing a rude limerick about Mrs Looter.' he reminded his brother.  
  
Gordon's smile broke into a devilish grin, 'oh yeah' his eyes glittered as he remembered, 'there once was a woman named Looters, who had a giant pair of hoo....' 'enough, Gordo, we all remember the poem!' Alan said with a smirk, 'please do this for me, I need some of the Gordon wit in there!'  
  
Gordon sighed as he reached out a hand for one of the papers, 'well if you put it like that.....'  
  
Alan smiled slyly to himself as he left Gordon's room, man he was good, now he only needed John.  
  
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Beep.....beep......beep  
  
John's eyes flashed in his portrait half an hour later.  
  
'Go ahead John' Jeff spoke quickly.  
  
'What the heck is this, you've faxed through to me?' John asked his father holding up Alan's paper.  
  
Alan smiled, 'it's part of my project John, can you fill it in and fax it back to me later?'  
  
'I most certainly will not!' John grumbled, 'I've got a thousand and one jobs to do up here!'  
  
Alan turned to Jeff, 'Dad, tell him , please.'  
  
Jeff looked at his middle son, 'John, can you please do this for your brother.'  
  
John looked annoyed, 'but Dad, I've still got to fix the suction caps and the distress co-ordinater configuration......'  
  
Alan interuppted his brother, 'then the faster you get this done the sooner you can get back to finishing those jobs.'  
  
John frowned, irritated, 'Alan I am going to kick your ass when I next see you.'  
  
'JOHN!' Jeff admonished.  
  
'Sorry Dad!' John mumbled, then when Jeff turned away, he mouthed to his youngest brother, 'I mean it!' before disconnecting.  
  
Alan smirked, he had them all wrapped around his little finger. He was going to get an A for sure!  
  
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2 hours later Alan smiled as he recieved John's fax, 'thanks John' he said to his brother who seemed unusually subdued.  
  
'That's ok Alan' he responded, far to kindly. Alan was instantly suspiscious.  
  
'Are you alright John.' he asked, a little worried by John's tone.  
  
'Yeah I'm fine, I guess I just remembered things i hadn't thought about in a long time.'  
  
For the first time since he'd been given the project Alan thought how difficult this might have been for his brothers and his father.  
  
'I'm sorry if this has upset you Johnny.' he said softly, feeling guilty then.  
  
'No, I guess it was stuff I needed to remember, that's all.' John replied, 'I hope it's what you're looking for anyway.'  
  
'Thanks Johnny' Alan said, meaning it as his older brother cut off their connection.  
  
He had noticed the same kind of reaction in all the members of his family, even Gordon, had been serious when he'd given his paper back. For the first time Alan wondered if he'd been right to pressure them into this. He sighed as he walked on to the balcony, sat down and looked at the writing infront of him, it was Scott's sprawling script, neat as ever.  
  
Very curious as to what these papers would reveal about his family, Alan began to read.........................  
  
**************************************************************************** ****** 


	2. SCOTT

Hi, I'm Scott Tracy,  
  
god you have no idea how stupid this feels writing that down. I mean it's not like anyone's going to read these anyway. Of all Alan's usual stupid projects this one takes the biscuit.  
  
Don't get me wrong I love the kid, I'm only doing this because I love him, but he has no idea how much these 'writing about your feelings' essays bother me. I mean who ever heard of a college project called 'my family and me.' Gordon summed it up best when he told Alan we adopted him from the circus and he should go speak to his 'real' family. Writing has never been my, what do you say, forte, it's much more John or Virgil's scene. I prefer to take the more hands on approach. That's why Alan asking me to write about my memories and feelings have got me in such a spin.  
  
But kid, I know how important this is to you and I know you well enough to know you'll be hoping there's something about mom in these so that's where I'm going to start.  
  
Oh Alan, our mother was beautiful, long blonde hair and blue eyes that danced when she laughed. I wish you'd known her , she would have loved you. And I know in that year she did know you, she loved you so much. Mom was always the kind of person with love to spare, she loved everyone she knew, from the postman (who cried more than anyone at her funeral) and our neighbour, Mrs Abernathy to Dad.  
  
I remember when we went on holiday to London, it must have been just before she died, she had you and Gordon in the double-buggy and me, John and Virg were with Dad. It was one of those glorious days, sun shining over the Thames, grass greener than you'd ever think it could be and everyone was so happy. We were perfect.  
  
Anyway I remember mum sitting on the grass and us all having a picnic when she heard a shout. All I remember is mum yelling at Dad to watch us and sprinting to the river. John started crying and I remember watching horrified as she jumped into the river, (she was a brilliant swimmer, must be where Gordon gets it from hey?) anyway, she climbed out wet, holding this little girl. The girl ahd fallen in, mom saved her life.  
  
I remember most vividly the girl's mother rushing up to mom. She was spanish and she just kept saying, 'bless you senorita, you are so beautiful'. And mom just smiled back at her, soaking wet with a great big smile on her face and I remember, even then thinking, yes you're right, she really is beautiful.  
  
She died two weeks later. I don't want to dwell on her death, though we don't talk about it much, I know you know the details, but I remember her kissing me goodbye that morning as she dropped me at school and I remember her straightening Virgil's collar and hugging John fiercely, she always was so similar to John, in tempremant, both dreamy and thoughtful (I guess that's why they were so close and why dad found it hard to be around John after she died).  
  
I remember being picked up from school by a sobbing grandma, and the hours at the hospital, with Dad, hoping, praying that you and Gordon would pull through. You were both just so defenceless and little then, though you wouldn't think it now, at 6'1 and 6'2, but you were. I remember even at 9, watching you two fight for your lives in ICU, having a fierce desire to protect you guys, to protect all four of you. But I couldn't protect mom.  
  
Alan, have I ever told you how greatful I am that you and Gordon lived through that crash. I think that some way, some how, mom was looking out for you two. She had to die but she wouldn't give up on her babies. I don't know if I believe in ghosts, but I like to think that mom's looking out for us all. And sometimes like Gordon's hydrofoil accident or your racing car crash, 1st year at the Sans, remember? I know I'm right.  
  
I guess I felt at my most peaceful, other than now, when I got my call up for the air force. Al, you'll never know speed like that, even in the thunder.... er...thunder and lightening storms, you'll never know the feeling of that kind of speed, I know you love 'Top Gun' but I swear kid, we made those guys look slow! I really felt good in the air, I still do, but those jets are really something, and the women, whew! I know it might come as something of a surprise to you, but your big brother, did actually used to have a life! Some of the women we met at the air-bases were beautiful, one in particular. She was perfect, but hey, life doesn't always go the way you plan it to, that's one lessson I've learnt, but my life's good now. When I don't have to get you guys out of trouble anyway.  
  
I guess that's one thing you get when you're the oldest, a feeling of in built responsibility and a talent to always be right. No, Alan don't laugh, I can hear you now, muttering 'yeah right!' as you read this, but I do know my stuff when it comes to my family.  
  
Espescially you baby bro,who else knows you like cherry garcia ice-cream on doritos, or that you have a birth mark on your right shoulder the shape of Italy, or that you keep a picture of you and mom in your second draw down. Only a big brother knows these things. (alright and Gordon, but other than that who?) You've got to give me that!  
  
That reminds me of the time you and Gordon got drunk at that illegal, under- age rave and Virg and I had to go haul your asses out of there. Ha, I bet you didn't think I was going to write about that did ya? I remember you two clowns singing 'he ain't heavy he's my brother' as we hauled your drunken butts to bed. Dad wasn't too pleased with you two over that now was he? But he got his revenge with the satisfaction of seeing the two of you, with hangovers the size of texas the next morning.  
  
I have no-one to blame but myself for the way you've turned out, the endless lectures and advice, I'm proud to say, have turned you into a pretty decent kid, well most of the time anyway. I only wish you knew mom, because then you'd know how proud she'd be of you today. How proud she'd be not just of you but of our little 'company',(i'll say no more) Dad's founded.  
  
I hope that's what you wanted kiddo, if not, well don't think you're getting any more out of me, this is the longest I've sat with a pen and paper since Mrs Anderson's class in High School. Anyway, I guess my overall feelings are, i'm happy with what I've got, my health, my family and my youth (not a word Alan, not a word)!  
  
Love Scott  
  
p.s what,..... you want a motto? Geez what is this, ok, um....... 'Enjoy what you've got because it's true what they say, you don't know what you've got till it's gone!' 


	3. VIRGIL

Virgil Tracy groaned and scribbled out what he had written on the paper infront of him. Sighing as he looked at the mess in front of him, he ran a hand over his face.  
  
He had read Scott's paper, his older brother actually allowed him to see it before he'd given it to Alan, it was sweet and insightful, exactly what Virgil was fearing it would be. Although, by far the best of the Tracy's at English, Virgil swallowed hard at the thought of writing about his mother. He just couldn't find the right words. Sighing he let his mind wonder, as it did, he slowly but surely picked up his pen and started again, to write.  
  
Virgil, here.  
  
I think this is a pretty great idea really, sharing without having to espescially talk, you know our family's sometimes pretty bad at that. Well............  
  
One of my earliest memories is of when Gordon was born, I remember how shocked mom was that he was a red-head, we couldn't work out where it was from. Now of course I affectionately refer to the kid as a 'throwback' but then, we had no idea where he'd gotton his hair from. I remember mom coming home from the hospital with him, this smiling, adorable little thing,I was smitten. I remember Mom telling off me, John and Scott for fighting over who got to hold him. We needn't have worried though, we soon had you as well and two babies were more than enough to go around.  
  
The thing I like to remember about mom was her love of music, and her total commitment to caring for others, she was always looking after everyone else, that was just her. Like Scott, I know she would have loved you, and it eats me up to know that neither you nor Gordon will ever remember her smile, her voice, even her smell. That's why this is a good idea. I remember thinking how lucky we were that you two made it, through that crash though. I also remember this guy at mom's funeral, I think it was Great Uncle Jack, you know mum's uncle, the drunk one with the......never mind, I remember him saying that Mom's life had not been for nothing, because she had brought these brave kids into the world. Hmmm, funny the things you remember. I remember we all pulled together more after that though, Scott definately took it upon himself to care for the rest of us, for mom.  
  
It sounds stupid but I feel bad about that! Scott's always had to grow up before he should have, he only had those nine years while mom was alive. I guess that's one of the biggest regrets, in my life.  
  
Sorry, getting to depressing, I guess if we're on the subject of happiest memories, apart from the time mom was alive, I'd say I was happiest when I got accepted at Denver, that was an achievement. It wasn't like I breezed through school either, I had to work damned hard, that's why it made me so happy to finally get there. Denver was brilliant Al, I know for a fact that you got up to all sorts of trouble at College but I loved it, I loved learning! Don't laugh, I know you and Gordo will definately think i'm a geek but I really enjoyed it.  
  
I would have liked to go into teaching if I had the chance, but I guess I get enough lecturing from Scott to last a lifetime, sorry Scott. I met some really good friends there and i'm not going to lie to you, it hurt to leave them behind, 'it's all for the greater good' became my little motto, to keep me from running straight back there when things got tense here, which they do, frequently. And Scott can talk, the girls at the air force had nothing on the girls at Denver, all curves and smiles. I don't know if John will go mad at me for writing this but the 'career-change' was hardest on him, on the romance-front! I'll let him explain that! (come on now John, it had to come out eventually don't get mad).  
  
Apart from that, you Gordon, John and Scott, all bring me a lot of happiness.  
  
The things you do, make me proud. All of you and I think that the careers we have now, ahem......the international kind, are so worthwhile and so brilliant, that I suppose I'm very happy now too. We help people Al, we stop families going through the pain we went through and that gives me an incredible sense of, I don't know, not achievement,I suppose the word's, pride.  
  
I'm proud of what we do, I'm proud of who we are and I think mom would be too.  
  
My motto's, 'It's better to burn out than it is to fade away.' Morbid, but I always feel that way, because mom burned out, she never did and never will fade away. Love you kid and our family's brilliant I wouldn't change a thing about it, even you! Virgil xxxxxxx 


	4. JOHN

John threw Virgil's paper down with an oath. Scott had faxed theirs through so he could see what he was supposed to write.  
  
'VIRGIL!' he roared, up in thunderbird five, he could shout as loud as he wanted and no-one would care.  
  
He angrily picked up his piece of paper and then an evil smile slowly spread across his face, ha, he'd show his brother that two could play at the telling secrets game.  
  
'John Tracy' he smiled as he started writing, 'captain's log, stardate 190,' he grinned as the Star Trek theme began in his head and then mentally shook himself, 'come on John' he told himself, 'Alan's counting on you'. He scribbled out his earlier sentance and began to write........................  
  
John Tracy here,  
  
I am the middle child in a family of hooligans, let's get that straight from the beginning. Scott's overprotective to the point of obsession, Gordon's crazy, Virg drives me insane and then their's you Al, you baby brother, get your own way all of the time........but I love you all!  
  
I wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
Before I get on to my own experiences, I'm just going to tell you something I want you to tell everyone else about. It's about Virgil (hah, right back atcha big bro, this'll teach you to tell my secrets).  
  
When I made one of my visits to Virgil's college while I was still at High School, I was surprised to find, my usually 'sought-after' brother without a girlfriend. When i enquired about this Virgil mournfully told me that all the girls were happy to be his friend but nothing more. I decided to find out why.  
  
I met a pretty blonde named Tammy, who shared her thoughts with me, I learnt the horrific truth. The girls thought our Virg was gay. Tammy claimed that Virgil's love of music and the arts had prompted them all to suspect.  
  
I decided to have a joke at Virgil's expense, I'm not Gordon's brother for nothing, and told her I was his ex- boyfriend (she had no idea I was his brother) and a little confused about what I wanted. Tammy proceeded to convince me that women were better, and by the end of the night I was never more sure of my sexuality. Unfortunately for Virg, word spread that he was definately gay, thanks to my help and he was not too happy when I eventually told him why none of the guys stayed in the showers when he entered.  
  
There you are Al, I'm sure you and Gordo can blackmail him with that one.  
  
John's heart constricted as it always did at the thought of writing or talking about his mother.  
  
I'm sure it's pretty obvious by my behaviour at the mere mention of mom's name, that it's hard for me to talk about her. I'm going to try to explain that to you.  
  
I have just a few memories of mom, but they're all so vivid, it's as if she died yesterday, not almost 20 years ago. I remember her singing me to sleep on her lap, I remember her talking to me at night, she used to tell me to follow my heart not my head, did you know that? She always said that as much as she loved dad, he tended to follow his head, not his heart. That's why I know she'd be proud of him, setting up the, 'family business', following his heart. Mom and I were always very close, she seemed to have time for me, all the time, she never told me to leave her alone, which I used to get continually from Scott, being the pesky little brother I was. I suppose you'll think I'm a bit of a nut-job but I still talk to her sometimes, at night. I don't know why, but I feel closer to her up here. I know Scott thinks I like it up here because I don't have to face reality, but that's not true, this is my reality. Another little embarrassing memory about Scott, when he first got called for assignment with the air-force, Scott would never admit this sober, he told me when he was drunk, his commander told him, "You weren't chosen because you are the best pilot in the Air Force. You were chosen because you are the class clown and frankly, you're expendable." Hah! There's plenty more embarrassing memories where that one came from!  
  
Sometimes I look at you and Gordon and you remind me so much of mom in some way, that I almost have to catch my breath. Just the other week when I was at home, Virgil laughed at something and I had to physically leave the room, he sounded so much like her, it still hurts. I guess Scott's right in the sense that I've never gotton over losing mom, but who really gets over something like that? You and Gordo didn't know her so it was like you had nothing to get over, but believe me when I say, I wouldn't trade places with you guys for a second, because I treasure those 5 years I had with her more than anything.  
  
Right, I know Virgil mentioned my love-life, which he damned well shouldn't have! Now I guess I'll have to explain.  
  
Virg is right, I found it really hard to join the 'business'. I met a girl while I was on location at Camp David, looking at the telescope, for my new Physics book. No yawning, I'm telling you it was fascinating.  
  
Anyway this was about 2 years ago, I was called to meet this woman who was supposed to be giving me a tour, so there I was, waiting to meet this old biddy when this stunning and stunning is the only way to describe her, young woman approached me.  
  
Man, she was beautiful, anyway I could tell the attraction was mutual, she introduced herself as Jess, and after she gave me a tour, we went out for a meal. It was so great, we saw each other every night for 2 weeks and on the 14th night of dating, I can honest to god, say that that was the best night of my life, we used Jess' card to get into the giant sattelite at Camp David. I'm not proud of this but we made love inside the sattelite, alright I am proud!  
  
It was so exciting, their were security guards outside and we were worried that despite getting clearance we would be discovered, anyway our worries proved to be right and we were discovered. By the police!  
  
Let's just say that being arrested was pretty humiliating, espescially for indecent exposure. It took Jess and I 2 hours to convince the police that we weren't after state secrets, trying to assassinate the president or stealing confidential information from the satelitte.  
  
Unfortunately I was forced to ring someone to post my bail. There was no way in hell I was ringing Dad, so immediately I thought of Scott, big brother was in the Air force, and although I was guaranteed a lecture i would be able to avoid the teasing that I knew Virgil would inflict upon my already embarrassed ego.  
  
But, as luck would have it, he wasn't in his quarters and horror upon horror I had to ring Virgil, as awful as this prospect was, it was either ring big brother number two, or face Dad's wrath. Virgil of course was appallingly unsympathetic and howled in laughter down the phone,but he came and got me out. And surprisingly promised to keep his mouth shut about my little escapade. (didn't last long did it Virg, it's been what, only 2 years?)  
  
Anyway, our happiness took a nose-dive, unfortunately Camp David did not find the situation as funny as Virgil and Jess was fired. She was upset and I was upset but we knew we cared a lot about each other, so she moved into my apartment, you know the one in Key West, remember I mentioned to you and Gordon on the video-phone that I had met someone and we were pretty serious. Anyhow Jess started to look for a new job, I started writing my book and then I got the call from Dad about the new business.  
  
I said it now and I'll say it again, it was awful timing! I knew how much Dad needed me to be a part of the 'business' but he also made it clear that I was not allowed to include Jess in any of his plans. Well, we had a huge row, with me telling Dad I wanted no part of the business and Dad telling me he was disappointed in me. But the long and the short of it was , it wore me down. It kept nagging at me that I was leaving all you guys in the lurch. Jess knew something was wrong, but I couldn't tell her, it was all strictly 'confidential'.  
  
I figure Dad must have told Virg my reaction, and because Virg was the only one who really knew how much I cared about Jess, he came down to visit. He told me that I should do what my heart was telling me and I can honestly say that it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But I remembered what mom told me the morning she died, she sent me, Virg and Scott off to school and she said, 'stick together boys,look after each other' as we went in.  
  
So it was with a heavy heart I said goodbye to Jess, goodbye to my old life. But I still miss her sometimes and I still feel those twinges of regret at leaving the one woman who healed my heart behind, but I know deep down I made the right choice. You guys needed me, Dad needed me, and that Al, is what family's all about, being there when you need them.  
  
My motto is by my favourite author Oscar Wilde, 'We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.'  
  
I'm one of the lucky ones.  
  
Hope this helped, Kiddo.  
  
Love John xxx 


	5. GORDON

Gordon groaned as Alan cornered him as he left his room, heading for the pool.  
  
'Al...............' he whined trying, unsuccessfully to step around his irritating younger brother, 'get out of the way!'  
  
'Where's your paper?' asked said irritating younger brother, arms folded, looking irritated.  
  
Gordon held his hands up in mock surrender, 'I haven't done it yet' he admitted, 'so shoot me?'  
  
'GORDOOOOOOOON!' Alan shouted, face turning red, 'everyone else has done theres, well except Dad, John's got them all in the space-station and he's going to fax them through for me.'  
  
'Well if John's got them how the heck am I supposed to know what to write?'  
  
'I told you, your FEELINGS!' Alan shouted the last word.  
  
'Alan, I promise I'll do it after my swim ok?'  
  
'No, NOT OK!'  
  
'ALAN...........'  
  
'DON'T ALAN ME! I WANT YOU TO DO THIS GORDY,I NEED YOU TO DO THIS, NOW DO IT!'  
  
Gordon, felt like telling his brother where he could shove his paper but even he knew better than to cross Alan when he was having one of his temper tantrums.  
  
'Oh fine' he grumbled, turning back to his room, 'but all I'm writing about is what a child you are and how we should have left you at that circus,instead of adopting your sorry ass!'  
  
Alan had that innocent smile back on his face, all traces of irritation gone from that deceptively- angelic face, 'now we're getting somewhere' he said before walking away.  
  
Gordon stepped back into his room, stomping over to the dresser in a tantrum of his own, he flung down the paper on the desk and began to write............................  
  
My name is Gordon Tracy and my little brother is seriously annoying,  
  
he doesn't listen to me, he stops me from going for my swim, he tries to steal my girlfriends, he does steal my clothes, he behaves like a child, but he's still my best friend.  
  
Oh Al, you really do try me, with these silly projects, I swear this is the last one I'm doing. And i'm only doing it because I know that Scott, Virg and Johnny will bore your poor teacher to death with their tales of the 'old days' when music, was 'real music', video-phones were only for the rich and children were better behaved!  
  
Well take it from this garage loving, video-phone owning, bad ass, those guys are sooooo past it!  
  
Sometimes I'll look at Scott, when he and father are discussing the days before the 'advance' in technology and I'll just think, what are you on about, I mean Scott's not even thirty yet! And the other day, I swear I'm not kidding I walked in on Virg and Johnny discussing the decor of Thundrebir.....um...ur.....John's workplace! I mean the whole lot of them are getting to be so old, and not even old men, old women!  
  
Jeez, Grandma acts younger than Scott does.  
  
That reminds me, can I send Grandma my paper, on her holiday and then she can do it for me? No? Oh fine!  
  
My first memory must have been when I was about 4, it was when Scott and Dad built us that treehouse, remember? You probably don't remember it being made, I do! I remember Scott telling Virg and John to wait after he and Dad had worked for weeks on it, so I could be the first one in! I remember feeling really safe in Scott's arms, even though he must have only been around 12. But Scott's always ahd that effect on people! He makes them feel safe.  
  
If Scott's the safety though, Virg is the sweetness, I remember him walking us to school when we were little and holding our hands when we crossed the roads, that's our Virg, gentle and patient.  
  
And if Virgil's the patient one then John's the wild-child, Oh he does very well, hiding behind his dreamy exterior, but he is one bad-ass guy. I remember being extremely suprised when I joined the High School in John's final year and finding that people really respected our Johnny. He was tough, I thought they were joking at first but everyone who found out I was John's brother, were quick to be friendly.  
  
He had apparantly had a fight with a high-school bully, in his first week there (I got this from my friend, whos older sister was in John's year), won the fight and got himself detention for a fortnight. The sly dog had told us he had astronomy club, remember? Well, I never looked at our John in the same light again I'll tell you.  
  
I remember from an early age, an overwhelming feeling of, not wanting to become an astronaut, I knew what the rest of you were like, but I never wanted to do that! My first thought that I would have a career in the water, was when Virgil taught me to swim, when I was about 5. I felt peaceful in the sea, I can't explain it, it's like you're far away from life, the stresses and strains and in another world that no-one else can reach. Anyhow I was a better swimmer than Virg after 2 weeks and I know that annoyed the hell out of his 9 year old ego!  
  
I guess if that was my introduction to water, my olympic medal was definately the high point. That rush of adrenaline when you're preparing to dive in at the start of the race, I can't describe it, but it's such an amazing buzz. I know this 'speed-junkie' hypothesis scares Scott and Dad and the others silly, but it's like therapy to me, the more speed the more danger = more adrenaline. The olympics was such a high! Everyone was brilliant and seeing you guys watching proud , from the audience, made it perfect.  
  
I suppose if that was my sea-life, high, the crash was my all time low. You can't ever know what that was like and i hope to God that no-one ever has to go through what I went through. I remember some of that morning, my memories of the whole event are still patchy, a sound here, a sentance there, I guess that's a blessing really.  
  
I remember the Captain and Jack Munroe, Curtis Redding, Noel Dalton, Sam Williams and myself grouping before getting in the hydrofoil. I remember us talking about Suzie this girl Sam liked and the guys ribbing me about the attention I'd been getting from the women at the club the night before. I remember feeling really excited about testing out the hydrofoil. But I also recall feeling, strangely worried, something I never felt in my time at WASP. Speed didn't bother me, but I felt it that morning.  
  
I remember getting into the hydrofoil, and I remember us slicing through the water, I got the same rush, the rush i always felt at going fast. That's where my memory starts to go, I remember a flash, like a photograph, I remember Curtis laughing, the Captain barking orders, then a sensation of being upside down like on a roller-coaster ride, then nothing. Then Scott's face, lined, with almost a rough beard covering his face, staring down at me, he was saying something but I couldn't hear it, I could just see his lips move. The next time I woke up you were all there, Virg, pale and sick- looking, John, sombre and unshaven, Dad grey and old and you, crying and I managed to stay conscious for a few minutes at least.  
  
Hearing that someone had sabotaged our vessel and that I was the only survivor of 6 WASP members was the hardest thing I've ever had to hear. Scott told me. To say I was depressed is an understatement, a four doses of prozac kind of understatement! I'll be honest with you Al, there were times in that hospital bed, that I wanted to die, I couldn't walk, I could hardly move, I was in pain, every minute of every day, but I couldn't think of anything other than my friends.The guys who had died, I kept asking myself why I was still alive when they were all dead.  
  
Of course Scott got me to open up, I told him how I felt, he had that worried frown across his face, you know the look I mean. He told me it was 'survivors guilt', that what I was feeling was normal. But no matter how many times you guys told me, you were so greatful I'd been spared, I just felt worse. When Virgil suggested a counsellor I was furious, but she really helped and I learnt to deal with life again.  
  
Ask me how I feel now, and I'll tell you I'm alright. I suppose that's a bit of a lie, I'm not over it, I never will be, but I've learnt to deal with it, and you know what? When you go through something like that, it makes you stronger. I can't pretend if I ever found out who sabotaged the hydrofoil I wouldn't kill them, but I don't feel guilty for being alive anymore.  
  
I'm sorry, you said you wanted some Gordon wit in here and I've only gone and depressed you, sorry. I love you Al, I love all of my family, even when you annoy the hell out of me. But every time you do I remember how you came to every one of my physio lessons to help, you never once got bored, and how when I'm in thund...ur... (sorry)...my vessel, and my back hurts you're the only one who knows and makes some silly comment to take my mind off the pain.  
  
Thanks Al, for everything. I guess that's it, geez I was going to rush this to go for my swim, but once you get me started you know I can't stop prattling on, I guess i'm like one of those Duracell bunnies!  
  
My quote is, 'I feel the need for speed!', because I do, still, after everything, need to go fast.  
  
Love ya Kiddo,  
  
your sophisticated, sexier older brother,  
  
Gordon xxxxx 


	6. JEFF

Jeff was not like the other Tracy men, he was determined to do this simple task for his son, but as he sat on his balcony, whisky in hand, he found himself finding this a lot harder than he'd assumed it would be.  
  
He had never been the emotional type, not like all five of his boys. That had been Lucille's influence he supposed, and all their negative qualities had apparantly been inherited from him. As his mother so frequently reminded him.  
  
After each utterance, 'Virgil's too obsessive', - his mother would reply, 'he gets it from you Jeff.'  
  
'John has his head in the clouds...' - 'remember how you were at his age Jeff?'  
  
'Gordon is far too argumentative!' - 'So are you Jeff!' - 'Mother I am not!' - 'Yes you are' - 'I am not' - Upon which his mother would reply - 'Jeff what are you doing now?'.  
  
'Alan needs to settle down' - 'Jeff that boy has your restlessness!'  
  
'Scott works too hard' he'd uttered from his pile of paperwork - His mother would just shake her head.  
  
It seemed that all his boys goodness was from his Lucille, Scott's protectiveness, Virgil's sweetness, John's dreaminess, Gordon's sense of humour and Alan's passion for things he cared about.  
  
Now how was he supposed to write about the love of his life, he didn't know how to begin. But he knew it as sure as he knew his own name, he wasn't going to exclude Lucy's memory from this 'family project'.  
  
xxxxxxx  
  
Jeff Tracy here,  
  
I guess I need some kind of introduction, I'm proud to say I'm Alan's father. He's the last of my children and a fate worse than death if you hear him tell it, my baby.  
  
My family - hmmm, what can I say other than, there is nothing, and I mean nothing more precious in the world to me than my family. I can' t tell you how many times I've had people come up to me over the years saying how much they admired me for bringing up five boys on my own after Lucy died. But I never accepted their praise, not because I didn't want to but because I knew, bringing up you boys was never a chore. Oh yes there were times, I remember one specific time with you and Gordon in the double buggy and a strategically placed woman's undergarment, and John and Scott and the whole high-school suspension fiasco, when I found you all a little trying. But truth be told you were all such good boys at heart.  
  
Well most of the time. You all like to think your old Dad's in the dark about your little escapades, but I am Jeff Tracy, your father and remember this, I am all seeing. I know all about Scott's first year little crash of his jet at the air force, he really thought I had no idea about that. I knew about Virgil's late night activities when he'd invite one of his little girlfriends to stay here on the Island. I knew about John's indecent exposure tryst in a sattelite from the beginning. My friend Jack Logan was a police officer at Camp David and I heard pretty soon that my most secretive boy was in jail. But I also heard that Virgil had the situation under control. I knew all about Gordon and his poker-playing activities at WASP and I knew, this might come as a shock to you Alan, all about your drag-racing at Colorado!  
  
See, you all think you can keep things from your dear old dad, but I'm afraid the day one of you keeps a secret from me is the day I'll be dead. And that's a long way a way as I'm only 54!  
  
God 54! Don't ever take time for granted Alan, it passes so fast, it seems like yesterday that we brought Scott home from the hospital, a tiny scrunched up, new born and next month he'll be a 6'2, 180 lbs, 30 year old!  
  
Your mother would have been proud of each of you, you're all so different, but all so perfect in your own way. Scott, excelling at the Air Force, commanding, leading, as your mother always said he would, Virgil, artistic, thoughtful, the wonderful person your mother had imagined. John, dreamy, doing what he always wanted to do, following the path your mother wanted him to follow. Gordon, witty, head-strong, optimistic, so like Lucille in personality, feisty, how she was. And you Alan, determined, passionate, fiercely independant, your mother wanted that for you.  
  
Each of you have turned into wonderful, caring boys, boys I am proud to call my sons.  
  
You may have thought that we regretted not having a daughter, having five sons. But we never did, Lucy was always such a charmer, she felt more at ease around men and she wanted nothing more than to take her five boys to Little League and give them advice about women. I was the same, coaching your Little League, teaching you to play baseball was all i ever wanted.  
  
Of course the carefree world we knew crumbled when my Luce died.  
  
No one ever prepares themselves to lose a partner, but when they are so young with such a young family, and as close as Lucy and I were it hits you harder.  
  
We were two halves of a whole, your mother of course was all the goodness, but we fitted together, it was written in the stars that we were meant to be together. Perhaps to produce the fine young men, we called our sons. I don't know.  
  
I do know, I used to stare at your mother from across the room and it would amaze me how I was capable of gaining her love. She was just always so perfect to me Alan. So perfect, oh she was no saint. She could be feisty, like our Gordon, stupidly dreamy like our John and downright argumentative at times , like you. But she was perfect for me.  
  
She mellowed me, her Englishness was a cool balm on my occasional brashness. Her passion and her sweetness just bowled me over. And she loved me!  
  
She loved me!  
  
That was all she had to do and she became my whole world.  
  
Then you five came along and you'd ahve been hard pushed to find a happier man alive.  
  
But God does things for a reason, don't ask me why your mother had to die, but you and Gordon were saved and I have to be eternally greatful for that.  
  
But is your mother still a part of my life, my heart, my soul? Yes, yes and god, yes. She is with me in all of you and in my heart, and sometimes I'll catch myself about to admonish one of you boys and I'll think what would Lucy say. And I'll bite my tongue.  
  
Anyway I value you kids more than my life. If I've learnt anything in my life, it's don't leave anything unsiad.  
  
Love your father  
  
xxxxx 


End file.
